Saturday, 11 June 2011

Grounding myself....

I've been staying away from my blog for a while because my life hasn't been all sunshine and smiles and walking in forests, although there has been some of that too.
I kind of really wanted this blog to be somewhere special where I can come back and remember all those peaceful mama days but to be honest being a mum isn't at all just being peaceful, its being worried, stressed, angry and disappointed in myself and yes disappointed in how our children chose to live their lives.
My 17 yr old daughter and I have clashed, argued, said hurtful things, she left home, came back, tried to understand each other, make peace but we are still going through a ''17 yr old, parenting thing not working at the moment, there's an argument brewing all the time'' kind of life.
I've been sad, my stomach has been churning and I've felt like hiding away. I've wanted not to be a mum.
But I have accepted this is my life at this moment and it will pass, probably all quite quickly and then I'll turn round and no longer have a teenage daughter, struggling with her emotions but a very loved and self assured young woman will take her place.
Being a mother is ever changing but loving your children is constant!
Anyway, this mama needed time out from this blog, I have grounded myself, reminded myself I am a good enough parent and told myself that even when 'right now' isn't too great, all will be well.

St Ives country park, Keighly.

The woods at St Ives.

Forest pixie.


Cro Magnon said...

If we all thought, behaved, miss-behaved, studied, worked, etc, the same way as our parents; life would never advance.

She's just growing up and cutting those wretched apron strings!

Anonymous said...

Don't give up on her. I will be thinking of you and holding good thoughts. Us mommas got to stick together.

Becks said...

Oh Sue, you know we've all been there. It's hard, so hard, but there's the other side eventually, a side you will both get to. Sometimes it's hard for these teens to find their own way, especially when they have a caring, loving mama, because they need so much to direct their angst and the only person they know will take it and stay for more is their mama.
Hugs to you and know that if you weren't the great mama you are this wouldn't hurt you so much, and she wouldn't be using you to find herself.
We really should get together some time soon, we're not that far apart, geographicall or spiritually.

The Barefoot Crofter said...

Hugs Sue. I know that tiptoeing on eggs feeling all too well. What Becks said is true. Maybe we should all have retreat! xx

sue said...

Thank you for the lovely replies, Becks, yes you are right and we should really get together soon :)
Jaqui, a retreat sounds sounds heaven!
A little update...Lu and I are getting on better, we are taking it slowly but doing ok xx

Veronika said...

Honey, mothering is like that. There are days when we just want to walk away. We don't get training for the shitty times....but my mantra is that every day is a new day, and every day I can 'start again'. ;-)