I've been staying away from my blog for a while because my life hasn't been all sunshine and smiles and walking in forests, although there has been some of that too.
I kind of really wanted this blog to be somewhere special where I can come back and remember all those peaceful mama days but to be honest being a mum isn't at all just being peaceful, its being worried, stressed, angry and disappointed in myself and yes disappointed in how our children chose to live their lives.
My 17 yr old daughter and I have clashed, argued, said hurtful things, she left home, came back, tried to understand each other, make peace but we are still going through a ''17 yr old, parenting thing not working at the moment, there's an argument brewing all the time'' kind of life.
I've been sad, my stomach has been churning and I've felt like hiding away. I've wanted not to be a mum.
But I have accepted this is my life at this moment and it will pass, probably all quite quickly and then I'll turn round and no longer have a teenage daughter, struggling with her emotions but a very loved and self assured young woman will take her place.
Being a mother is ever changing but loving your children is constant!
Anyway, this mama needed time out from this blog, I have grounded myself, reminded myself I am a good enough parent and told myself that even when 'right now' isn't too great, all will be well.
St Ives country park, Keighly.