Aaarghhh...OK, I understand if you really don't want to read a whinny post about a mama struggling and needing to talk about it somewhere..here on MY blog just about seems the right place.
Ive got a big dose of cabin fever, I MISS our long walks in nature or even just a walk to the co-op. Ive been so patient and understanding, Ive nursed our boy, gently and carefully whilst much crying was happening put calamine on sore pox, put cold wet flannels on hot foreheads and slept with a wriggly itchy boy.Ive played games, painted, crafted, read, watched children's TV, hugged a whinny, crying child, who really doesn't know why he is crying in the first place. Ahh I sound horrid moaning now don't I? But I'm tired too :(
Can I tell you also about my constant struggle to be at home with charlie and 'home ed' (sometimes I don't like the term home ed!!, we all learn all the time anyway), OK back to the point. In our house at the moment is mama, daddy, big brother and sisters, Kristy 22, Jake 21 and Lucy 18. Generally we all kind of live together doing our own thing, coming together at most mealtimes but also theres tension and bad moods to deal with, yes I know this is very normal in every family but....Lucy and I have a somewhat stormy relationship, we hug alot but we also mostly don't 'get' each other. She is only in college 2 days a week and so tends to be around the house a lot as lack of money means tight budget for going out. Erm, tight budget as in Lucy hasn't got a job so therefore we still have to support her! Fair enough but I don't think we should support her love of clothes, make up and nights out with friends! This is where the problem lies. She follows me around whilst I'm trying to do activities with charlie, moaning constantly about everything, I am really struggling to carry on, We have had many heart to heart chats about being independent, helping out, not bringing the atmosphere down all the time but alas...OK..aaarghhhh..its all I can say.
I so want a peaceful life together, to enjoy home edding charlie without teenage moaning, without pressure :(
Whats the answer? I don't think there is one and maybe one day, we will look back and laugh about all this whilst right now I'm crying!
The one thing that keeps me sane is a bit cheesy I suppose but its true, every day I count my blessings, the blessings of 5 beautiful children and a wonderfully patient very loving husband.I needed to write this here as its part of our journey, the good bits and the bad. I need to remember it all.
Thank for being with me, you are all lovely friends x